[Parody Warning Here]
Not-A-Flamethrower to be protected by new amendment to bare legs
2 Jul 2018 17:17:43
It was announced today that legislation will be brought before Congress to make it illegal for states to outlaw the ownership and purchasing of Flamethrowers.

The move comes as Politician Miguel Santiago is seeking to ban the sales of devices in California. Mr Santiago was moved to act after The Boring  Company released “Not-A-Flamethrower”. The bill before Congress titled “The Right To Bare Legs” is expected to pass with an overwhelming majority.

Senator Nicole Franklin stated, “Every Man and Woman has the right to remove hairs from their legs in anyway they seem fit. For decades the flame thrower has been a used by generations of Franklin women to remove unwanted follicle growth. The work of Elon Musk with the SO CALLED “Not-A-Flamethrower” is making hair eradication by traditional methods safer for all those concerned. I WILL NOT stand by as Mr Santiago discriminates against those with Leg Hair. Men and Women!”

The topic has caused heated debates across America. Frank Beasley on his breakfast television show waded into the debate this morning stating “God meant for us to have leg hair, and removal with these unnatural methods is an affront to the natural order! This Not-A-Flamethrower is the work of the devil and cursed be those who remove God's creation from their legs.”

Elon Musk’s device that caused all this has stated “It’s not a flamethrower, it’s very clearly called not-a-flamethrower, how can not-a-flamethrower be a flamethrower. That’s like saying our Boring company is interesting.”

We’ve got the Flamethrower Not-A-Flamethrower on order and look forward to have beach ready smooth legs come summer.